A Father's Blessing
What can a father do to guard and enable their children to fight their battle?
One of the most important spiritual weapons we have in our arsenal is our ability to bless and protect others on their spiritual walk, especially our family members. It is probably the most difficult, but also the most important. In the story of Gideon, God told him that he had too big of an army and had him reduce it from 32,000 to 300 before they fought the Midianites. God is not impressed with big numbers, big churches, or famous people. He wants a personal relationship with you and he wants you to love your neighbor as a real person, not a notch on your sword. He wants you to know them and love them as He knows and loves you.
My wife has a sun catcher above our kitchen sink that says, "There are two special gifts mothers give to their children, one is roots, the other is wings." I believe that children will often view God through the lens that we create for them by the way that we love and honor them. If we are harsh and unforgiving, they will view God in that way. If we look into their eyes and reaffirm our love for them, especially with hugs and sincere care, we enable them to receive God's hugs. My intent is not to spread guilt but to equip you and train you with the weapons that you need to fight spiritual battles. God is not bound by time. He is quite capable of taking your past and making all things work for the good. He even has the capability of restoring everything that you lost. So, forget everything that is past and your perceived inadequacies and allow God to bless others through you.
My dad died suddenly with a heart attack. Since he never smoked or drank, and exercised daily, he thought it was just the flu. Mom talked him into leaving the family business early Thursday afternoon and stopping by the doctor's office on his way home. I had joined my dad and sister that Monday to handle the marketing for a new software venture after being in a totally different business for over 20 years. The doctor immediately called an ambulance and had him transported to the hospital. He still seemed fine to me. The last time I saw him was Sunday afternoon and he was expecting to be released to go home and rest for a week or so. I was secretly glad because I would be able to spend some alone time with him and discuss some business plans. We had an enjoyable visit and our youngest daughter ate most of his supper. As we were leaving, he asked me to stop and pray for Wayne Shirley who was also in the hospital. We prayed for Wayne and when we got home, the phone was ringing. Mom's brother told us that dad had taken a turn for the worse and we should come back to the hospital. I was disappointed because he probably wouldn't be able to go home and I wouldn't be able to have him all to myself. We stepped into the elevator and another of mom's brothers and his family were already in it. I asked George if he had heard anything more about dad. He looked at me and said, "Didn't you know? He's dead." My world became a blur, a fog that didn't lift for a year and still hurts over 30 years later. It was the 8th of November. Dad was holding mom's hand. He had just finished talking to Phillip, my youngest brother, on the phone and his last words were, "I love you too, son." He handed the phone to mom and breathed his last breath.
The next day, mom met me at the office to tell the employees. Everyone was gathered in the meeting room. Mom looked around the room and said, "this is your new boss" and then walked out the door bawling. I didn't even know most of the people in the room. I had never worked with dad in their plumbing and drain cleaning business and couldn't tell the difference between a drain pipe and a water pipe. I have no memory about what I said. Fortunately everyone had jobs to do and they all went to work. It was November 9th. I remember that dad was always careful that he paid his bills by the 10th of the month so that he would get the discounts. Since he had mentored me in my business, I knew how he kept his books. His desk was cluttered as usual because had no inkling that he would never sit at it again. Next to his phone were all of the checks to the vendors, signed and ready to mail. I walked them to the front door and put them with the outgoing mail.
I sighed and walked back to his desk. I decided to take his files to my office. It took us several months before I moved into dad's office because we needed the room. We used his office to console each other and the many people who came to cry. As I looked through the files, I noticed that in many of the files, there was a little green laminated card. Dad quoted scripture a lot, but I had never heard him quote Proverbs 20:7. They were attached to folders named: "IRS," some of the vendors, some of the employees, and others. These were his personal folders. No one would ever see them except him. I thought it strange, but I was in a fog, so I just made room in my desk drawer and went home. The next day, both my sister Jane and I went to our doctors thinking that we were both having heart attacks. The pain was too much to bear.
I didn't think much more about the little green cards until I had to settle a fight between a couple of our employees. They were struggling too. After things calmed down, I decided to make a note in their files and noticed the little green cards in each of their files. That's when it hit me. Dad didn't share this verse with anyone because it was personal. This was simply a reminder to always walk in integrity and justice because he loved his children too much to stray off of the path. He would always walk in integrity and justice, because in so doing, he would bring happiness to his children.
One of our most powerful spiritual weapons is simply to walk in integrity and justice. Our children learn most by observing our walk, not by what we say. Is it worth their happiness by fudging a little on our taxes?